Trust is an essential foundation for any relationship that enables strong communication and support networks to flourish and while it takes years to build up, it can be shattered in an instant. Many of our clients seeking counselling in our Newcastle-based service cite a loss of trust as their main cause for their relationship issues and contributes to more frustration and mounting feelings of loneliness for each person. However, trust can be rebuilt and with the tips below from our Newcastle Psychologist & Counselling relationship counsellor (click here to see our list of services), we can help you to work through your relationship issues.
One of the values we encourage with clients is honesty, particularly at times of difficulty. It is important to make your partner aware of trust issues, even if you think it is likely to lead to upset and/or difficult conversations. While difficult in the short-term, open discussion is a sign of trust and can help strengthen the relationship to allow for more effective communication in the future as your partner knows you are prepared to work on the relationship. It may be daunting to really be truthful, but with-holding truth about your feelings is likely to cause resentment and arguments further down the line.
Discuss, Not Accuse…
It is important that conversations are discussions, not accusations, even if you believe they have done something that you feel actively created the distrust. Share your concerns either one to one with your partner, or during a counselling session with one of our counsellors (either face to face if in Newcastle, or online) and try to keep calm. The reason for this is that accusations often provoke an emotional response and end up without resolution. Discussing your issues, either together or with our therapists and counsellors in Newcastle, will allow your open dialogue, and create a non-threatening frame in which you and your partner can look at the situation from different points of view, and lay the groundwork for a co-operative solution.
Learn from It
When seeking professional guidance from our psychologists and counsellors, you will be able to talk and have space to look at the situation from each other’s perspective. Trust is different in every relationship and differently weighted to each person in the couple based on factors such as past experience, the individual’s and relationship’s values and understanding of the problem. Learning what trust means to each other (and yourself), how trust is gained and how to rebuild it when lost, will allow you to be more mindful and emotionally aware of your trust as a couple.
If you need help with working through trust issues, call our Newcastle counselling service – Dr Stuart Sadler (Chartered Psychologist) can help you arrange an appointment with our Specialist Couples Counsellor, or one to one should you feel there are individual problems. Call us on contact me page to discuss your situation with our skilled psychologists and counsellors.